I Survived The Physical Truth of War

For all veterans - you are not forgotten

Thank you for your unselfish time and service

I survived the physical truth of war

My spirit was wounded – I could do no more

I wanted to die as I hung from the chance

And then I found hope and took a stance

My heart told me I could help others do the same

Survive the hell inside of their brains

Of living a death I would have been glad to take

But I did not choose when I was awakened by fate

I think of my friends who died in the battle

Their spirit still alive in my heart when it rattles

I know someday I will see them again

Oh I hope they remember me as their friend

I dream they will greet me with a handshake and a hug

Oh how I hope they do not blame me or shrug

Why can I not forgive the broken man inside

The one I left on the battlefield next to my mind

One day I had a dream late in the night

My buddies and I were together in the light

They helped me to find the self I had lost

By showing me their spirits –- they were standing in the north

Sometimes I wish I could have joined them right then

They help me feel alive instead of being locked in a pen

I know they want me to stay where they died

Because I saw them in their destiny – at peace in a heavenly high

If I tried to kill myself – I could again choose not to die

And I would still have to travel to forgive this hollow man inside

But then maybe someday I could be something more

My leftover spirit will shine – I will no longer hide behind a door

Today I still wonder what could have been

If I was one of my buddies and I was their friend

Would they think the same as I would about them

Would they choose life - or keep following the shaken man

© 2020 Karen Lea